Houston We Got Problems


Forget about the new revelations that UFOs are real on earth. Think about how we look to our neighbors in space. We have collectively been sending space junk to the moon since 1969! We have been on Mars roaming around looking for goodness knows what with a giant Rumba machine, and we are orbiting, floating and doing flybys with a galactic garage full of vehicles in every which direction of Uranus and Jupiter, Saturn and even the sun.

All of this could be quite impressive to any E.T. except all of this stuff keeps having a breakdown a malfunction, a course deflection or an eventual big bang, and it’s gone. Recently, as the 5th country from earth to land a piece of junk on the moon, Japan’s Moon Lander is dying on the lunar surface. The machine, called, Smart Lander for Investigating Moon or SLIM, as its friends call it took an unprecedented 4 months from launch to touchdown to get to the surface of the moon. Neil Armstrong and his crew did it in 4 days, 6 hours, and 45 minutes, and that was 55 years ago back in 1969!  What happened to the phrase, ‘…. we have the technology….’ As if that wasn’t enough, shortly after SLIM landed it started to act up. The moon wasn’t where it wanted to be. Apparently, when the big box looking thing set down on the lunar surface, it managed to cover up its solar panels, and it needs these in order to recharge itself. Ooops! That was at 10:21 am on Jan. 19. So, for all of this time, SLIM has been siting on its Japanese manufacturers behind, waiting for its juices to flow out of its body all over the moon. JAXA should think about changing the name to SLIM Minus Two!

The first of the five countries to land on the moon was, The United States, but the second on the cheesy satellite was Russia. On August 19, 2023, after 47 years of no space trips, Roskosmos, the Russian space agency announced that its lunar vehicle Luna 25, crashed into the moon at 11:57 am. Breaking the unmanned craft into pieces. More material for lunar yard art. Enter Luna 26?

The other two countries who had hoped they would be successful with their quest to conquer earth’s only satellite were China and India. It was 3 years ago that China launched a 5 Chang’e rocket with a payload headed to the moon. On board was a lunar rover called The Jade Rabbit which was going to set up shop on the moon and bring back samples. What they managed to do was to leave some remnant of its space vehicle with a stamp on it’s bottom that reads, ‘Made in China’ for some outer space man to find.

We have supposedly been visited by intelligent life that have been able to travel here from light years away and at extraordinary speeds to come and see us. Why? Maybe they have been watching and have seen that we are so far behind them that the idea of a thereat is so far fetched that they had to see it for themselves. Afterall, how could we be so in the dark about all of this stuff? Black holes to travel through, time travel, and intergalactic voyages to places where no little green man has gone before. If there is some sort of federation of planets out there, and they all have the capability to move through space as freely as we move through the streets, hopefully following the traffic laws a little better than we do, doesn’t it stand to reason that they would be curious about such a backwards planet?

Then shouldn’t we be doing everything we could to get better at what they do? Shouldn’t we want to be on at least the same plane as they are and shouldn’t we want to be the ones who make contact with them instead of them being the ones who come to our planet, to our house and ring the doorbell? So, then there ya go space people. NASA, private contractors, Chinese Lunar Rovers, Indian Spacenauts, and any others of you so called super intelligent life forms, get your heads out of Uranus and start your engines, thrusters on full, and impulse your power to take us beyond the stars! We wouldn’t want to be late for Zed’s, “ intergalactic kegger”, would we?