Good mornin’, everyone! I’ve been campaignin’ to be yer next Whiskey Flat Mayor for a few weeks now and it’s gettin’ perty close! We jes got us a few more events before we got to turn in all our bribes early Sunday mornin’ (on the 18th) so’s they can be counted before we’ head to church at the encampment. We hope you’ll join us there even tho’ the bribe-sellin’ will be over with! I’ve been reminding myself of a few things lately and jes want to share some of ‘em with ya’:
• Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
• Keep skunks, outlaws, and bankers at a distance.
• Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
• Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.
• Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.
• Forgive your enemies – for yer own health and peace of mind.
• Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
• It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
• Any path worth takin’ has a few puddles.
• When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
• The best sermons are lived, not preached.
• Worryin’ don’t solve nothin’
• Live a good, honorable life…guilt and shame ain’t good bed partners.
• Don‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.
• If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
• Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
• Sometimes your biggest troublemaker is you.
• Always drink upstream from the herd.
• Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
• If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
Come out to any of our events or maybe just look for us on the streets to get your bribes! We love the kids of our valley so we’re raisin’ funds fer KRV Toys for Tots, One Spade Youth Packers, and scholarships to Camp Keep. Like our Facebook page, too! It’s: Evangelic Eve & Nate, the Pistol Packin’ Preacher.