Welcome to our new website! Please note that for a brief period we will be offering complimentary access to the full site. No login is currently required to read stories or e-editions.
Today we celebrate that guy who lives on the block that everyone refers to as that grumpy old man. The one who will not give back the ball or frisbee that sails over their fence and into their yard during your game. The one who always barks out, ‘You kids get off my lawn!’ Today is known as National Curmudgeons Day. Why? You ask. No one knows for sure. It is a day that the idea is to shed your kind, gentle demeanor and embrace your inner cantankerousness. You are encouraged to be the grumpiest that your personality will allow. Now if you are a natural old crank before Jan. 29 the task at hand should not be a burden to you. At the same time, it will not be as fun to you either since for you it is just another lousy day. Another reason for you to lash out and criticize someone for no reason, in other words, to be yourself.
On the other hand, for those of us who do not act like a horse’s patootie for a living, today will be a day of freedom and a chance to let loose our inner grouch. A word of caution. The people you know as daily curmudgeons have been doing this for some time, and are quite good at it. For a person to only act this way one day out of the year could be a little daunting. There is no time for you to practice really, but you could try standing in front of a full-length mirror and giving you best impression of your favorite curmudgeon. You may have to do it several times before it truly comes out, but why not give it a try? Don’t be a stick in the mud!
After you have done this for a while, and you are confident you can pull it off, go forth and humiliate yourself while demeaning others. You may want to try your new found self out on people you know first. Those other people who live with you will do for a start. Just be aware, they may have been standing in front of mirror this morning too. So, if you can give out curmudgeon, be prepared to receive some right back at you. The last thing you want to do is allow yourself to get flustered when they do. Oh, maybe I didn’t tell you. The ultimate goal here today is to walk up to the everyday curmudgeon on your block and greet him in the persona of your newfound personality. Jan 29, 2025, the day of reckoning!
Allow me to give some guidelines here. Curmudgeons are not bullies. They are not antagonists, they are not profiters and they are not grumpies without a purpose. These men take pride in their obstinateness. They revel in the victory they claim over the righteous man, and they thrive on the idea of making someone cry like a baby. Now that is the true meaning of curmudgeon. On this day, you have some pretty big shoes to fill. Take a breath. Are you up to and willing to take on this challenge? Sure, you are. As they say, you got this!
Now, if you are done patting yourself on the back, get a grip! Man up and come to the plate ready to swing for the fence! To better prepare you for the day, you could use the study guides are available in most states, ‘The Life and Times of one, William Claude Dukinfield better known as W.C. Fields’. In fact, this day of Curmudgeon celebration is dedicated to him. No other day would be right, but the birthday of the most Curmudgeonest of them all. Fields was unique for his day. He was sort of a combination of Rodney Dangerfield and a number of other contemporary comedians and actors, all who took a cue or two from Fields. Even though he came a cross as a grumpy, children hating, dog kicking, down on his luck old grouch in his films, he was just the opposite in real life. Another reason to hold the 29th of Jan. as Curmudgeon Day.
So go ahead and put on your best grumpy scowl, be your worst unlovable offensive old scoundrel, but just for the day. Tomorrow you can go back to being your lovable Teddy Bear self.
Today, you are W.C. Fields, Curmudgeon extraordinaire!